Organic Sex: 3 Ingredients to All-Natural Pleasure
I love sex shops.
They reduce stigma, celebrate pleasure, and provide educational resources about sex in a society that is desperately needs it. But capitalism will be capitalism and they can also subtly imply that a great sex-life comes from an ever-expanding collection of sex toys and lingerie.
It can be fun to incorporate toys and other outside elements, but they are by no means essential. There are many ways to enhance your sexual experience that are totally free and have no side-effects.
You were born with everything that you need for incredibly amazing sex. There are of course many components to this, so I’ve broken it down into a handful of key ingredients. This article will introduce just three.
Ingredient One: Breath.
Breathe deeply and slowly. An oceanic breath can really help you sink into your body and sensitize you. It can soften the iron-grip of your prefrontal cortex on your sexual experience, getting you out of your head and into your body.
Breathing deeply and intentionally is soothing to the nervous system. When we’re really stressed we instinctively take big breaths because it's inherently relaxing. It softens your body and opens you up… which is exactly what you need to amp up the pleasure.
Breath can help you to slow down. Which, as you know if you read this article of mine about pussies, is pretty crucial for great sex with them.
On an emotional level, breath can also be used breakthrough blockages. It can push you through when you feel like you're shutting down. If you find yourself withdrawing, disconnecting, or checking-out of the experience, just take a few deep breaths and it will reconnect you to the moment.
From a spiritual perspective, you can use breath to breathe IN whatever quality you want. You can intentionally breathe in love, sexiness, safety, pleasure, sacredness, passion, or anything else you can imagine. Intentional breath is a powerful way to call in whatever element or flavor of the Universe you are craving most at that moment.
Ingredient Two: Sound/Voice
Don't be shy. Sound genuinely. You don't have to sound like a pornstar. You can laugh, cry, scream, yell with rage, or any other sound that is authentic to you in that moment.
Voicing whatever you feel inside is so key to the deep sexual liberation we all crave. Your voice sets you free. It gets the “civilized” you out of the driver’s seat and lets your inner animal control your experience. It helps you to really be authentic, to be incredibly present.
It's an amazing portal to emotional and physical surrender. Just like with breath, you can also sound your way through any blockages, constrictions, and difficult emotions that may crop up. To move through a rough patch, connect with the feeling, open your mouth, and let any sound that naturally arises from the feeling come out. Give the feeling a voice. Make sounds as if you ARE that feeling.
Sounding isn’t something just for women. Porn and bad movies have told us that men are supposed to be absolutely silent and women are supposed to be squeaking like an angry rubber duck. That's a terrible lesson for many reasons but one of them is that it implies that men don’t/shouldn’t have a voice during sex. Let me state for the record that men, you can be JUST as vocal as women.
In fact, a man that growls and moans is actually incredibly sexy to most people who like men. Not only does it help you last longer, it’s also the key for full-body orgasms (which allows for you to eventually separate orgasm from ejaculation and have marathon sexual encounters.)
Pro-tip 1: If you DO have to be quiet for whatever reason, sound energetically at 100% with a volume of 10 or 20%. It sounds like a whispered scream or yell. Like with everything else, it’s all about your intention and the energy behind what you do!
Pro-tip 2: If you are new to sounding this way with a partner, talk to them about it before diving in. If they are used to silence or a particular type of sound from you, they may think something’s wrong if you do something radically different. “Hey, I’m gonna try some new stuff with my voice. I promise I’m ok and will let you know if i’m not,” works well.
Ingredient Three: Movement.
Your body is way better at fucking than your mind is. Slow down and let your body take control. Allow it to move organically. Don’t worry about what it looks like. Let yourself writhe. Surrender to whatever impulses your body has. Don’t plan what you’re going to do next. Bask in the sumptuousness inherent in the movement of your body. Be free.
In addition to moving your entire body, try moving the subtle muscles in and around your genitals. It might take some practice, but just squeezing and releasing your pelvic floor and other parts of your pelvic area can be incredibly pleasurable. It also increases your strength, sensitivity, and blood-flow, which are key for more powerful orgasms.
Moving is an inherent part of freedom. Unless you have a very active job, you probably sit relatively still for most of the day. Yes, you might go for a run or exercise in a gym regularly, but even then you are usually doing a very prescribed, specific set of movements. Even with dancing you’re usually supposed to dance to the choreography or at least dance with “good technique.”
Unless you have ecstatic, free-style dance parties on a regular basis, wild, uncontrolled movement is probably not a huge part of your life. So take advantage of sex. It’s an ideal place to allow your body to just be free (and if you go intensely enough it can be a replacement for that workout anyway.)
Though the science is still out on most of this, what I have seen in myself and my clients is that organic sex can be naturally healing. Common sexual issues such as erectile dysfunction, numbness, inability to orgasm, over-reliance on porn, and more can be helped by incorporating these holistic ingredients into your sexuality.
Obviously, issues can have purely physiological basis such as hormone imbalance or disease. However, there are also cases that stem from emotional, psychological, and even spiritual difficulties. For these multifaceted cases, incorporating some holistic ingredients into your sex life might be the healing balm you need.
Try incorporating one or more of these elements the next time you self-pleasure/masturbate. (You can definitely bring these approaches into partnered sex but the stakes can feel a bit high in that context so I recommend trying it on it on your own at first.)
Your body is capable of so. Much. Pleasure.
Give yourself permission to really breathe, sound, and move and see what happens. Remember, epic sex is something you were born to do. Sex shops are awesome, but anything they have for sale is just a highlighter on your own juicy magic.
If you are loving this content and want to dive deeper, let’s meet! Sign-up for a free Sex Magic Call. This is a free consultation to help you clarify your deepest desire, see if I can help you realize it, and broadcast your intention to the Universe in the most pleasurable way possible.
If you have any questions about this article, your free call, or anything else please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.