The Orgasmic Elixir of Sexual Energy
Have you ever had an energy orgasm? Chakra-gasm? Full-body orgasm? By incorporating your sexual energy into sex you can discover a whole array of new orgasmic experiences.
“Sexual energy” may sound a bit New Age-y to some, but we commonly refer to this concept in our culture. We use phrases like “feeling a spark”, “having chemistry”, “feeling magnetic”, and “turn-on” to describe it. It’s that mysterious, sparkly quality that underlies sexual attraction and intercourse.
There are many theories of what sexual energy is. Some people think of it as a type of electromagnetic energy. Others people think of it similarly to “chi”, “prana”, or other subtle substances talked about in some spiritual traditions. Others still consider it a purely psychological phenomenon created through the power of suggestion.
No matter what you think energy “actually is”, being curious and exploring this space with an open mind can dramatically improve your sexual experience. Trust me, when you’re in the afterglow of a chakra-gasm you won’t care if it’s “real” or not.
In addition to making your experience better, understanding sexual energy is important for being a good lover to others. Just like different learning styles, there are different styles of getting turned on, and one of them is with sexual energy.
Some people are really turned on by pure physical contact. They may be watching TV and bored, but give them a sensual kiss and they’re golden. Some people get more turned on by the mental game and the mind fuck. Incorporate role play or talk dirty and they’re ready to rock. However, some people get turned on more by incorporating their sexual energy. Spending some time activating and moving their sexual energy will get them more excited than anything else.
So how can you tell if you’re feeling energy? Different people experience it in different ways, and their experience of it may change over time. Some feel a tingling, rushing sensation. Others feel a warmth or pressure. Sometimes, especially at first, there is very little if any physiological sensation and it’s purely a mental exercise. But one way is no better than another. No matter how you perceive it, if you can even visualize it you can use it.
The secret to harnessing sexual energy for epic sex is to move it. By moving your sexual energy out of your genitals and pelvis, you distribute the pleasure and goodness throughout your entire body. Rather than keeping the pleasure centered in your clitoris or the head of your penis, your whole body vibrates with pleasure.
Here are a few methods to help you start moving your sexual energy.
1. Intention. Just deciding that you want to feel energy and move it can be a huge step. Before or in the early stages of a sexual encounter, set the intention to feel the subtle sensations of your sexual energy and move them. If you want the energy to move it will.
2. Visualization. This is nothing more than imagining that it’s real. The same way that athletes use visualization of movements and games to improve their performance, you can use the power of your mind’s eye to create something amazing. I recommend visualizing your sexual energy, your pleasure, as a ball of white light. You can then imagine it expanding or moving throughout your body.
3. Focus. Whatever you focus on, grows. Keep your attention stay glued to your sexual energy and your pleasure. It’s just like meditation. If your mind wanders to a fantasy, (or a to-do list), just gently return it to your sexual energy and where you are moving it to.
4. Breath. As I mentioned my article about organic sex, breath is a huge component to great sex generally. But you can also use it to move sexual energy. You can essentially "blow" your energy around your body.
But where should you move your sexual energy? There is a powerful pattern you can move your energy through. Though it might vary slightly depending on what effect you are going for, this is the basic route. This is based on the microcosmic orbit from the Taoist tradition.
Essentially, it is a loop that circles the core of your body. First, move your turn-on from your pelvis through your tailbone and up your spine to the top of your head. It helps to synchronize this with an inhale and a strong flex of your pelvic floor. Then, move your turn-on down the front of your body back to your pelvis. Do this with an exhale, putting your tongue to the roof of your mouth to facilitate the downward movement. Keep moving your energy through this loop, up and down, inhale and exhale, while making love or self-pleasuring.
Energy is an incredibly powerful element in sexuality. If you have tried tai chi, qi gong, acupuncture, reiki, and other energy-focused methods before, you understand how powerful this can be. If you're new to this, it may take 2-8 weeks of experimentation with energy before you really feel its effects. So if you don’t feel anything at first, keep trying. Stay curious and give sexual energy a shot!
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